Pathetic Monologue

Disclaimer: This is a pathetic monologue, close this window if you're not prepared for it - pesanan dari mokcik Alia :P

While I was waiting for the team sparring event in ring C, a "boy" who was sitting in front of me kept on turning his head to have a better look at me and then whispered something to his girl friend's ear. So, I had to give him the-do you have a problem?-look. And finally he asked me,

"akak ni anak murid cikgu Rosli kan?"

"ha ah" (I don't usually talk to strangers...so, I tried to keep my answers short)

"macam familiar arr muka akak ni..."

"ye ke?"

"iyeee, akak ni sekolah mana dulu? SAMTAJ ek?"

"erm, tak..."

"Batu 38?"

"Simpang Lima..."

"HAH?! Simpang Lima? Betul ke?"

(huk ele, takkan sekolah sendiri pun aku tak tau) "Yup"

"Ooo...jadi betul la, ni kak alia kan.." (checking the name on my belt)

"Ha ah, awak ni sape?"

"Saiful, alah...dari Simpang Lima gak...junior akak"

And he started to talk about this senior, that junior, those taekwon-do people in Simpang Lima and so on. I was quite blur at that time. I can't recall who was this Saiful...and then I stared at him for a long time...

"Eih, dulu Saiful ni pendek kecik jer...mak aih, dah besar ek sekarang. Baru teringat hehehe"

"Laaaa...teruknya lah. Orang dah citer panjang lebar, dia baru nak ingat kita ni sape?"

Saiful is now studying in Polytechnic Shah Alam...training under a different instructor. He can no longer join the sparring event because he had an accident last year. I forgot to ask for his number (as usual!!)

*****

After I completed my secondary school and collected my SPM certificate...I've never "turned back". I don't really keep myself up to date with the alumni programmes and so on. I keep in touch with very few schoolmates - calling them once in a while, but never hang out with them anymore. When I'm not busy, they are not free...and when they invite me to go somewhere, I just couldn't find the right time to join them.

When I was in my first year in IIU, my pet sis passed away - somebody found her lying beside her bike in Shah Alam. She was in coma for two days, and that was it. I didn't go to visit her at the hospital, because I got to know about this a week after that. Not long after that, Belly, one of my closest friends died of dengue (some say santau - entahlah)...Wati phoned me and said,

"Aku baru je balik dari kebumikan Belly..." (and she cried on the phone)

I think, after that I became colder kot...I kept my distance from my own batch in IIU - and many people thought I was a snob...maybe, the deaths were too harsh for me to accept, thus I became a different person. The funny thing is, towards my final year in IIU I became more relaxed and I find myself smiling most of the time.

This morning I woke up and had a smile fixed on my face the whole morning. Last night, Raja, my best'est' friend came to "visit" me in my sleep. God, I really miss her and the good old times...

*****

So, what happen to Raja? I just don't know...we went to different universities and we became strangers to each other. I send her cards on hari raya, sometimes on her birthday...we sms each other once in a while, the last time I talked to her was on the last hari raya (almost a year ago). Ok, I'm sounding so pathetic right now...I better put a stop to this pathetic monologue.