EGO - deflated - inflated - neutral

Two days ago, I felt like blogging against a lecturer who gave a C+ for my assignment. FYI, for the past few semesters, my results have never came near to grade B- and I seldom get B for my works. It has always been A- or B+ , am not trying to lansi around, but I'm gonna tell you how my ego was deflated by a concerned lecturer. I wrote about Karim Raslan's Neighbours. It is about Datin Sarina who is such a busybody person that one day she accidentally peeps into a "gentleman" ' s bedroom. The main theme of the story is hypocrisy, but instead of highlighting hypocrisy, I addressed the issue of the lack of freedom of expression from the point of view of the so-called gentleman, Encik Kassim. He's actually a gay, and I wrote something on the "limitations" imposed by the society on him, and the expectation of the society i.e. he is supposed to behave like other "normal" men. I was quite upset when I saw a comment written on my paper,

" you have misinterpreted the story, it is mainly about Datin Sarina - hypocrisy..."

I did that on purpose, I didn't address the hypocrisy theme because I don't want to sound like the echos of his thoughts especially when they were discussed earlier in the class. I wanted to write something different, to show my capabilities, to be independent! I wanted so much to see him after I got the result, but I thought I should allow myself to cool down for a while.

This morning, I went to his office seeking for an explaination. I didn't really care about the grade, but the comments had gotten into my nerves. Of course, after two days, I was very much relaxed and calm. So he began explaining that I didn't really clarify my ideas. He was worried because I seemed to be deviating from the main theme, as if I pretended to understand what he taught in class, but when it came to writing a paper, I've exposed the level of my ignorance. I explained to him that I did understand about the theme of hypocrisy, but I wanted to be independent, I wanted to come up with my own ideas pertaining to the story. He told me that I should put some explainations about Datin Sarina and hypocrisy first before moving to the lack of freedom of expression theme so that the readers won't be confused. He admitted that he was quite worried because he has always looked at me as one of the top students in class - ahahaha, lansi again! - please forgive me, I didn't mean to sound so berlagak. He advised me to be more careful in organizing my ideas and thoughts especially when they are put down in writing form...

The moral of the story is don't go and bang your lecturer's car if you get a bad grade, most of the time you're the one who creates your own misery.