I've never been very open about my love life, not even to my sisters or my friends...and I don't intend to begin now...However, the recent happening moves me to blog about it.
I plan to settle down soon after I finished my M.A after discussing it with that guy. I told him that I'll talk to my parents and introduce him after Raya, end of this year.
For the past five-six years, we had our ups and downs...we had what some people call on-off relationship. I guess both of us were too egoistic and selfish to admit many many things and thus it affected our relationship. One thing for sure, I am a very 'loyal' person.
That guy works as a surveyor in a foreign land (If I'm not mistaken la. You see even after five years I am so still unsure about lots of things) and sometimes he has to work offshore for a few days, a few weeks and sometimes even a few months. Honestly, I might seem ok with it but the truth is I just don't know how to deal with it. And of late I kept asking myself whether I am able to accept the fact that even after marriage he'd be away for a weeks and months. I doubt I can be at ease with it.
One day I asked him whether he's going to have to work offshore often after we've settled down. He took sometime to finally email me his answer.
To cut the story short I was not happy with his answer and I wrote a very lengthy email lecturing him about the possible consequences of 'not being around' for his wife and family. His reply came a few days after that and he said maybe it's best to part away. So I agreed and sent an email saying yes to his 'proposal'.
At the moment I'm kinda numb. I'm not sure what I'm feeling. Is it a form of sadness in denial or is it a joyful feeling after finally being freed from 'drifting' into nothingness? I am not that sad to go and turn my world upside down...but not that happy either to go and find a 'replacement'...Entahlah.
***
Good night people. Have a good weekend.
7 comments:
jgnla sedey2.. sy pun sedey gak nih..
I'm sorry to hear that. I guess at the end of the day there are practical issues to be faced. Unfortunately.
Dear my lovely miss alya,
Both of u should meet and discuss la, email je susah laa..tak dapat selami hati budi..x feeling.heheh..Mesti ade jalan penyelesaian. dont give up! chaiyok miss!!
Dear sis, as usual, i'm surfacing after such a long time diving.. :D and yeah, noticed you never talked much about this issue.. and I admire that. Not everybody knows how to contain such a feeling. U did splendid.
At the moment I'm kinda numb. I'm not sure what I'm feeling. Is it a form of sadness in denial or is it a joyful feeling after finally being freed from 'drifting' into nothingness? I am not that sad to go and turn my world upside down...but not that happy either to go and find a 'replacement'...Entahlah. ~ i think, ure in a state of "reboot". mcm pc :D So dont worry, u'll will get up to speed, and you'll know what to do soon enough. Btw, ure not dead yet right? Unless you're dead, u shudn't be worried.. ;) La tahzan.
Let me spare you "the-lecture-from-my-xperience" thingy. And let me instead suggest you a book that i enjoyed reading and found it kinda too late, "Aku Terima Nikahnya" by Hasrizal -the one behind saifulislam.com Take a peep, it might worth a penny or two.
Ending my words,
May God blessed you on your endeavor..
~Happy hunting ;)
imrnze.
-grey no more.
my brother is also a surveyor and always away from his family for few months and each time his back from work the son and daughter dah tak kenal bapak dia..and it takes few weeks to make them mingle..sian tgk diorang..tapi in other side plak..doing offshore work will give good income..for me as a man biarlah dia keja offshore dulu (bagi time limit)then stop and start own things..
My bro walaupun still buat offshore yet he still have his own business so that bila berhenti offshore he will be concentrating with his business...
good luck..dont make mistakes k..
im sorry to hear dat. life goes on.
selamat berpuasa too
relax ar misz..em bru saya tahu misz da ada bf..ala misz each problem have their solutions..abg sepupu sy pun keje luar..dia blayar kapal..kdg2 3 bulan x lik and sometimes smpi 6 bulan lagi la wife dia sbr je..dah la wife dia bru bersalin.waktu tu dia x ada pun kat sisi wife dia.tpi tu da kejr dia utk menampung keluarga dia terpaksa la.ank sulong tu misz x tgk lg.mybe this 15 bru lik anak pun da msuk dua bulan.emm xleh watpe la.so for misz it doesnt matter la..emm cpt2 jumpe discuss cukup thun kawinla yer misz..hehehehe..
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