Was talking to P the other day. She told me that "kia" means takut and "su" means kalah, so kiasu is takut kalah, afraid of losing. "Si" is defined as mati, and P claimed that she's not kiasu, but she's kiasi. Asked her "kenapa kiasi, I thought you are a practising Buddhist?", P "what about being Buddhist and takut mati?" Me, "Ya lor, I thot Buddhist believe in rebirth, cycle of life, karma etc.etc., why takut mati? Nanti boleh lahir semula in another form what?" P, "Eh, ye ker? Aiyo, still afraid what, if I die and jadi hantu macam mana?", "Jadi hantu masuk neraka lah hahaha". I know my answer was quite harsh but that's what I learned from all those chinese dramas. "The Gods of Honour", there's one scene in it that shows the Putera Naga became a hantu because his dragon vein was pulled out by Na Zha. There's another scene in the hell, all the people who were oppressed by the Maharaja was sent to the hell after their death. I thought they also believe that good people will end up in heaven, no meh?

Loga was quarelling with this girl at the tkd centre, then he said something like "yeah, why not? If I have to I would die for Ms.5th Dan blackbelt". During the induction week, a well-known motivator gave some sort of talk on relationship etc. He first asked us "who in this hall would die for his friends?" everybody shot their arms up. Then he asked again "who think that he has at least three friends who would do the same thing for him?". If I'm not mistaken, there's only one girl who put her hand up. Let's do a bit of thinking here, everybody thinks that they are ready to sacrifice themselves for the sake of their friends, but doubt that their friends would do the same for them. Hmmm, so you don't actually trust your friend? You don't have faith in them? And you're adding some doubts to your friendship? Is that what we are trying to say, that is trust yourself but no one else and hope that others would have faith in us? What was my reaction on that day? I didn't angkat my tangan at all, why? Because I was too afraid to be committed to something that I might not be able to fulfill, and I was quite confused, and I think my friends are confused too, so I don't really expect anybody to sacrifice their lives for me. I was worried if today I say something and the next day I go against it, I have trust and faith in my friends, so if the unfortunate day come, let them decide wisely, and I won't put any pressure or any expectation on them. Why should you die for someone, when you could live and benefit others? Kullu nafsin zaiqatul maut (every living thing would taste death), death can't be stopped, you can't avoid it and you can't run away, hiding from it. How to face death and not end up masuk neraka jadi hantu? We have to prepare ourselves for the next life in the eternal world starting from now. Life in this world is too short, thus we have to grab every chance we have to prepare ourselves for the next world which promises the best things for us, if we do good lah here. If belum mati pun we've already transformed into a hantu and setan, for sure we will be "grooving to the beat" with the devils and other hantu(s) in the neraka sebab tak tahan kena torture. So that's my 2 sen for the day!!

-losing is part and parcel of life, a day would come when you have to leave all your possessions behind and provide an answer to God for the paths you have chosen in the past life-